Title: Zombies Have It Made

You zombies have it made. You just wander around in a rage without a care in the world.

That’s WHY we’re in a rage.

You don’t have jobs or families to care about. Just stumble around eating brains like there’s no tomorrow.

I miss my family and my job. That puts me in a rage.

You don’t care about oil spills or economic turmoil. Nope, just brains.

I don’t even like brains, they taste like scallops. I hate scallops.

Too bad you’re only up at night. You could spend all day getting an awesome tan.

I mostly just wanted meaning in my life.

But me? I gotta punch that clock and earn my bread. No brains for me.

You should find work that gives your life meaning then. I’d do anything for that.

Sometimes I feel like a zombie. Going through my day without thinking about what I’m doing.

That’s a real tragedy then. You don’t want to feel like a zombie. Trust me.

Do zombies get bored? Oh, why am I talking to you? You can’t talk anyway.

The things I could tell you if I could. You’re going to regret not ambracing your life when it’s nearly over.

Poor zombie. You don’t get to waste your time on video games and sitcoms. Just brains.

There was a time when I used my own brain to do stuff. Now I can’t remember.

I’m starting to think most of the people at work are zombies too.

I’d like to meet a nice zombie girl. Can you hook me up?

They come and go, and nothing ever seems to get done.

The world resists change. That’s what makes it fun.

Hey zombie! How many zombies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zombies don’t change lightbulbs. We like the dark.

Zombies like the dark, so they don’t change lightbulbs!

Get a life. Before it’s too late.