Title: WerePanda

What the hell are you supposed to be?

I’m a Werepanda. As in, beware of my wrath.

That makes no sense at all. Pandas are mostly laid back.

Only in public. At night we turn into bad tempered bears with attitude.

It’s not even close to Halloween.

Exactly! So, when you least expect it? Turn on the light and the werepanda is standing there.

Doing what?

Looking at you. With a frown.

That’s it?

Why? I can bite you if you want.

No, that’s okay. I was just expecting a little more.

I can sparkle.

Seen it.

What if I told you I was sent from the past by intelligent dinosaurs?

To do what?

I dunno, walk around and look tough.

Fail. Epic fail.

Why?

You have a white face with black spots on your eyes.

So?

So nobody is ever going to take you seriously. Not tough enough.

See that tree over there?

Yeah, what about it?

What if I went over there and ATE all the fresh new sprouts? Right off the top?

Do you use a sword?

No. I’m afraid of weapons of mass deforestation.

I think you need a better backstory.

Why?

Panda by day, bad tempered panda by night. Nope, just doesn’t have a good ring to it. I can’t see the movie poster.

There’s a movie poster?

Only if you have an origin story full of pain and angst. Maybe you turn into a werepanda because you lost your pony?

I hate ponys.

Sounds like the start of a good story!