Title: Good Golly Miss Molly

Hey, Mohammad, can I ask a favor?

Molly Norris! My favorite portrait artist!

Yeah, well, that’s what I need to talk to you about.

Is there a problem? And what’s with the dark glasses? Are you light phobic?

Um, yes. There’s a big problem. I’m in hiding now because your followers are trying to kill me.

Why?

It’s that ‘no pictures of you’ thing again. They slapped a fatwa on me.

Bummer.

No kidding. So now I have to change my identity and give up my career as a cartoonist.

I was wondering about the hair color. What do you want me to do, just ask.

I was hoping you could, you know, maybe send a signal or something.

What kind of signal?

I dunno, maybe some flaming letters across the sky that say “Leave Molly alone, she’s okay by me. Mo.”

I don’t do fire and brimstone, that’s the other guys.

Then maybe appear in this Anwar al-Awlaki’s dreams and give him a vision.

What kind of vision?

That’s up to you, just tell him to leave me alone and drop the fatwa of death.

Hmmm, I don’t know. Messing with people’s dreams caused all sorts of problems.

Like what?

Well, let’s just say I’m sorry for what happened in Spain, and leave it at that.

So you’re not going to help me?

The whole ‘no pictures of me’ thing dates back to a time when people had a tendency to worship images of lots of different deities. It doesn’t really apply any more.

Tell them that.

Actually, that’s part of your job. You and all the other good cartoonists out there. Some of those Facebook drawings were kinda mean, but I can take it.

I was hoping for some safety in numbers from the other professional catoonists. But I’ve kinda been hung out on my own.

Cowards.